Parlor Games
by leradny
Summary: After Gracia gives our favorite intelligence officer a book dealing with body language, Hughes decides he has only one use for it: to reveal what Edward Elric and Roy Mustang really feel when in each other's presence.
1. Part I, Ch 1

**Parlor Games**

**Disclaimer/Notes:** One: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist. Two: Yes, it's PG! Ed speaks less than fifteen words in this chapter and there is one, barely-hinted-at-hint of shonen-ai at the end.

**Chapter One:** Much Ado Over Nothing... or so it seems

Edward Elric fidgeted in his seat on the couch as Colonel Roy Mustang sighed. "Hughes, what is the point of this?" He was waiting for the eccentric officer to explain himself for bursting in with a book in his right hand and the Fullmetal Alchemist gripped firmly by the other.

"Calm down, Roy, I just have a hunch that this little game of mine will throw things into perspective."

"And what makes you think we WANT to-"

Hughes broke into Roy's retort with a titter and a tolerant smile that would not have gone amiss from an easygoing female. "Oh, come on, Roy; don't tell me you ENJOY fighting with Edward here!"

"He does," Edward muttered at the same time Roy said quite clearly, "I do."

"Oh, you two!" Hughes laughed and gave Edward a push onto the couch. "You sit on the couch, too, Roy."

"Why?" Roy asked apprehensively. Sitting that close to Fullmetal was on the brink of self-injury. It was like standing too close to a rabid dog, pun not intended. ...Well, maybe a tiny, LITTLE bit intended.

"Because," was the answer. "Just hurry up. You have a few minutes to spare, right?"

"Taisa," Hawkeye spoke up for the first time, seeming the slightest bit intrigued about this. "I can complete whatever paperwork you have to do tonight, if it takes too much time."

"Wha-no!" Roy protested firmly. "Hughes, it is against-"

"Come on, Roy!" Hughes repeated. "Hawkeye practically does your work anyway, what with you blowing it off every chance you get! This'll only take a minute, so sit down on the couch and RELAX."

With that, the officer actually dragged Mustang over to the couch and plopped him down next to Edward. The two glanced at each other, Edward with his standard spark of anger and Mustang with narrowed eyes before moving as far away from each other as possible on the couch.

"Hughes," Mustang began again. "Please explain."

"It's a game!" was the chirped reply. The hand partially obscuring the book's title shifted to reveal: Body Language. Mustang raised an eyebrow, and when Hughes caught it he grinned. "Gracia gave it to me! She said it was a fascinating flash of insight into nonverbal communication-and I have to say, she's RIGHT!"

_Only **Hughes**..._ was the thought that drifted across the Colonel's despairing mind. _ONLY HUGHES would think..._ Roy couldn't finish. Instead he glared at this paltry excuse for a best friend and then sighed in defeat. "Fine. What do we have to do?"

"Easy!" Hughes bounded on, encouraged. "Just do whatever you want, provided you don't talk-"

Roy shrugged indifferently. Fullmetal groaned slightly, shoulders sagging a little in disappointment.

"It's nonviolent-"

Edward gave another, louder groan of disappointment and Roy hesitated before sighing again andtaking off his gloves. He seemed to be sighing a lot today...

"-AND appropriate to be seen by others."

"Wh-what-" Edward stammered.

"Maes Hughes, WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?" Roy barked, glancing over at Ed before the short blonde jammed himself against the arm of the couch, refusing to look at anyone. Even Hawkeye was startled, and not by Roy's yell.

"Nothing, just...!" Hughes started to laugh uneasily. "Ha ha, I..."

"Hughes!"

"Just in case somebody comes in here unannounced, that's all!"

There was a moment of stunned, puzzled silence before Roy put two and two together and his eyes narrowed to slits. "Hughes, did you TELL people you were going to do this?"

"No, I would never do that, Roy-"

Someone knocked briefly before yelling, "Yo Hughes! Started the test yet?" Second Lieutenant Havoc, complete with cigarette in the corner of his mouth, bowled into the room along with Fury and Armstrong. Roy's look turned into an all-out glare.

"You're USING us?" Both Edward and Roy burst out indignantly.

"No!" Hughes cried. "No, I just wanted to see if... if you two really... hated each other!" There was another moment of silence before Hughes practically broke down and sobbed, "There! I've said it! I want to know if you two hate each other!" He buried his face in his hands as everyone raised an eyebrow.

"That... is a fairly obvious question," Roy told him, lowly but dangerously.

Hughes lifted his head, irrationally restored to his usual grinning self. "So why don't we prove it? You sit with Ed on the couch for a while without speaking AT ALL, and then I'LL use my newly discovered genius to decipher your actions!"

"Sounds fun," Havoc offered.

"Yeah," Edward replied, with such obvious sarcasm that it made everybody but Roy grin.

"Okay." Hughes took a breath, opened his book and riffled around before finding his page, and said decisively, "Game start! Can't talk anymore!"

When Edward glanced at Roy, almost questioningly, the older man smirked-currently the only thing he could think to do without speaking-and was rewarded with a scowl. Havoc snickered before Hughes shushed him by snapping, "Don't break their concentration!" Then Ed crossed his arms and looked down, blatantly ignoring everyone else.

At first it was quite a solid attempt, but before long the Colonel noticed Ed's gaze was beginning to twitch. First the boy shifted his gaze to the floor; then the desks, windows, door, even the bookcase; then he settled for a moment on nothing in particular, then finally back to the door.

_Does Fullmetal want to **leave**?_ Roy thought, amused at the boy's intense scrutiny of the exit. _It's like he's waiting for the right moment to escape._ Really, Ed didn't seem the sort to bail like a frightened animal. Hughes was now flipping pages furiously, making small noises of concentration and often looking up to observe the behavior of the two on the couch.

Roy started to snicker himself before Hughes glared and warned him with one raised index finger, "Snickering doesn't count against you, but laughing does-so keep it quiet."

The Colonel was just about to reply, "Yes, MOTHER," before he recalled the no-talking rule and simply nodded, although his smirk was wider than before. Then Roy got an idea. He stretched out two fingers as inconspicuously as possible, and delicately tapped Edward on the shoulder.

The reaction was... surprising. Edward actually _yelped_ and fell off the couch, much to Roy's puzzled amusement, and whatever limb could be seen was quickly withdrawn out of sight and behind the safe cover of the arm. Even Hawkeye gave a reluctant, weak smile before everyone noticed Ed sure was taking his time about getting up. Their heads simultaneously turned to where he'd fallen.

"That's interesting," Hughes remarked. "Roy, can you see him from there?"

Roy struggled to keep his snickers from turning into full blown laughter and shook his head, hard. The intelligence officer took a cautious glance around the corner of the couch and instantly his expression changed from mild confusion to something more serious. "Oh... Roy, you'd better see this."

A booted leg suddenly lashed out violently at Hughes, missing by an inch. Since Hughes was talking to Roy, this went completely unnoticed by him and made everyone else crowd to Ed's side of the couch.

Edward was sitting with his back to the outside edge of the arm of the couch, miserable as well as embarrassed and angry, an expression that Roy had never seen-not at the same time, at least-and there was another element that made him feel guilty...

"Edward..." It was when everyone turned startled glances to him that Roy realized he had spoken.

"Shut up!" Edward exploded, getting up and shoving Fury so hard the major was almost knocked over. "I hate you all!"

He slammed the door open and closed, leaving several confused adults and one extremely intrigued intelligence officer behind.


	2. Part 1, Ch 2

**Disclaimer/Notes:** I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist. _In italiana! Non possiedo Fullmetal Alchemist._

Sorry it took so long to update. First my Net went all wonky and then I had slight writers' block... but it's okay now!

Funny how these things work out-I wanted this to be a oneshot, but then I thought: Why not make it longer? I like... well, all pairings including EdRoy, and I decided to try more since I'm spewing off my speculation of how Ed would act if he couldn't talk. Yes, this is based on when I got a similar book.

...Okay, the REAL reason: Even more than I love spewing, I LOVE HUGHES! So I gave him more screen time! dorky (crazy fangirl voice) I love you Maes! And your adorable Alicia! And Gracia! 'Cause without Gracia who else would give him a book? Alicia's too young to go out into the wide world all by her onesies. Isn't she Hughes?

Hughes: Of course my beautiful little princess is too young! (hughes-I mean HUGS-Alicia) She'd get lost in a second, and then where would Gracia and I be?

(humungous goofy smile) Aw... (blink) Uh... Just read. READ! (smacks scroll bar down)

**Chapter Two: **Analyzing Much Ado

Roy straightened up and cleared his throat, smirking both from habit and in an attempt to lighten the mood. "Well. That was... interesting."

Hughes nodded as he studied a page, replying absently, "It doesn't take a genius to realize what Ed did just now."

"What?" Hawkeye and Fury asked. Fury was rubbing his arm where Edward had shoved him and looked a bit resentful.

"Ed was covering up his embarrassment with anger," Hughes told them patiently, as if it was something everyone had known for a long time but forgot. "I'm sure we've all done it-even you, Hawkeye, when you were around his age."

The First Lieutenant made a sound between an embarrassed giggle and an affirmation and lowered her head almost timidly, smiling a little. Havoc looked at her, surprised.

Hughes continued, "My guess is that since Ed couldn't yell at you, Roy, he didn't know how to seem mad-so he ignored you at first and started to panic when it stayed quiet. And then you touched him when he was jumpy, making him fall off the couch and get even more embarrassed, so he kept out of sight and couldn't stand it when YOU noticed and stormed out. Simple."

That really was simple, Roy realized. "And what did you notice about me," he asked, half-joking but part of him wanting to know.

"Hmm..." Hughes peered over his glasses at his friend. "You were acting as you usually do. You don't really need words to get the point across; but then, you're older than Ed."

"Is that an insult?" Roy asked, pretending to be hurt.

"No. And it's not a compliment, either." Hughes added.

Roy's ears pricked up at that. "Hmm?"

"You're so good at sending signals that you don't really care about what other people try to send to you. You looked surprised when you realized you scared Ed, but you also looked like you were enjoying his pain."

"Pain?" Roy repeated disbelievingly. "All I did was tap him on the shoulder!"

Hughes started to reply, then gasped suddenly. "So Ed WAS right! You DO enjoy fighting with him!"

"Excuse me?"

"Have you no SHAME, Roy?" Hughes asked a touch melodramatically, making everyone else struggle to keep a straight face. Havoc actually snorted but was silenced with a group glare behind Hughes' back.

"What are you talking about?" Roy asked, bewildered.

"You didn't feel guilty at all when you invaded Ed's personal space, did you?" the officer asked, cold and disapproving with his hands on his hips. The resemblance to a lecturing mother was uncanny, despite Hughes' reputation as a doting father. "You took advantage of him just so you could amuse yourself-"

"Hughes!" Roy started, appalled. "Not in front of my colleagues-"

"Ed!" Hughes called, starting out the door.

This random switching around was grating on Roy's nerves like _cheese_. "And where are YOU going?"

"I'm going to salvage what's left of that poor boy's self-esteem!" was the reply, which made everyone raise an eyebrow. "And you think about what I just said, Roy Mustang!" Everyone was staring, somewhere beyond amusement, when the intelligence officer suddenly turned on a heel to face Roy once more. "No, wait-YOU go."

"What-where?"

"Apologize to Edward for getting your kicks out of yanking his chain!"

A smirk popped onto Roy's face as his shoulders began hitching slightly. "Hughes, that makes Fullmetal sound like a DOG-"

"Never mind that! Apologize!" Hughestook Roy by the arm and began to drag him to Edward's dorm. After a moment's hesitation, everyone else followed them.

"This is gonna be good..." Roy heard Havoc snicker to himself. When he looked over his shoulder, the blonde was biting down on his cigarette before it could fall out of his mouth and following the tail end of the group. Hawkeye was the last one in the room, on the edge of moving.

"No, you all stay HERE." Hughes blocked the door, face set into a stern frown. "This will be hard enough without everyone else showing up to gawk." Roy would have taken the chance to sneak off then, but Hughes remembered to keep a hand on his shoulder. "Come on, Roy, let's go."

And so, the intelligence officer marched down the hall with the Colonel in tow, and there was nothing Roy could do about it. Nor could he change the fact that everyone was following them, just out of sight of the irrepressible Hughes.

Hughes stopped at the boy's dorm (how he knew where it was Roy had no idea, but the man _was_ an intelligence officer) and pushed Roy in front of the door. "Go on."

"Do I HAVE to?" Roy asked, on the verge of whining. But no, the Flame Alchemist couldn't _whine_ like a child; so he settled for dignified annoyance.

"Don't be such a baby, Roy, you sound like Alicia when I tell her to eat her veggies." Hughes stopped a moment, pondering his choice of phrase, and then clapped his hands together joyfully. "Ooh, and did I tell you about this one time, she was with me and Gracia while we were grocery shopping, and..."

Five minutes later, Hughes finished his anecdote with a laugh while Roy began to nod drowsily. "And I could barely hold myself back when I finished my third roll of film! Ain't that a kick, Roy?"

At the sound of his name, Roy blinked fully awake and nodded hastily. "Oh, uh... yes. Very amusing." He coughed to clear his throat and said, hoping that Hughes had forgotten, "Can I go now, Hughes? I have work to do... a lot of work..."

"After you apologize to Ed. Then you can knock yourself out."

Oh, how Roy wished he could do just that. He reluctantly turned the knob and pushed the door open with his fingertips, expecting an ominous creak or a furious yell from Fullmetal for disturbing his solitary brooding as the light filtered into the dark room.

Nothing so dramatic. There was breathing, yes, but slightly irregular. Roy glanced back at Hughes, who shrugged but took a stance that clearly showed he would stay here all night if needed.

"Fullmetal," Roy began, but instantly realized that was the wrong way to start as the smaller figure on the bed with his knees drawn up jerked in surprise, the subdued red and yellow flashing in the blue-black pitch as Edward turned to the door and scowled.

"Go _away_!" Ed snarled, almost unintelligibly, as he dropped his legs to the floor and sat up straight. Instead Roy entered the room, disregarding the petty order, and sat on the other side of the bed.

Neither could find anything to say after that. It wasn't the time for a stinging remark and Edward was already ignoring the other presence on the bed with all his childish impudence. Cloth shifted-Edward had drawn his knees up again. Roy wondered how best to phrase the damn apology so he could leave when he heard the slightest hint of a sniff.

No. Fullmetal wasn't crying, was he? Or trying not to cry, anyway. He'd left the office in a rage. Roy twisted to look over his shoulder at the younger alchemist. Edward was mostly still, but every once in a while there was a dull hitch, as if he didn't see the point of hiding it in the darkened room.

All right, he was crying. What had Hughes told Roy? "You don't care about what other people try to tell you"? Well, when Roy didn't need to know, like back then... sure, he could say he didn't care. And then he winced at his honesty.

Roy steeled himself to say something. "Edward..." he began. On an impulse he even reached over and cautiously put his arms around the boy's shoulders. "I'm sorry."

Edward stiffened, then relaxed the smallest bit, almost reaching up to touch Roy's wrist but dropping his hand at the last moment. The boy took a deep breath, then coughed out a sob and wrapped his arms around Roy's neck. "I HATE you!" he choked. "You humiliated me in front of _everyone_, you bastard...!"

It should have looked... _odd_; the Fullmetal Alchemist crying into the shoulder of the person he hated most while snarling every flaw said person had with every spare breathe, and Roy completely silent of his own free will. But as Havoc and the rest of the others crept in front of the doorway behind Hughes, something froze them for a moment.

Perhaps it was the fact Edward was really crying and gave up insulting the taisa after a few sobs, or that Roy wasn't wearing his gloves and was patting the boy's back like he was a small child. It was a brief glimpse of humanity between the two, and quite surprising.

Either way, when Edward calmed down and shoved Roy off, poised to clap, there was nothing behind Hughes except his shadow.

**A/N:** Em... (feels guilty) I don't own that 'glimpse of humanity' thing, even though I can't remember where I stole it from... so just assume it's not mine.


	3. Part II, Ch 1

**Name Games**

**Disclaimer/Notes:** I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist. Non possiedo Fullmetal Alchemist. (grin) I got the idea at lunch, and it was so incredibly random! I was all, 'Why don't I write a secondpart and have Hughes do ANOTHER weird thing?' 'Cause Hughes seems the type to babble on about something interesting, like Alicia... a book... name games... (smirk) And this'll be lighter thanPart One:Parlor Games, just so ya know. And as well as EdRoy, oddly enough, there is possible RizaRoy.

**Part Two, Chapter One**

"Oh, Ed?" Hughes asked from across the mess hall. "Do you spell your last name with a 'ck', or just a 'k'?"

Edward's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "It's spelled E-L-R-I-C. What, are you trying to interpret my name?"

"Actually, yes." Hughes bounded over to the table Ed was at and slid a piece of paper next to Ed's tray. On it was a curious looking chart, with the names of all three of the Hughes family and loads of numbers scribbled under them-plus Edward's first name.

After observing the chart, Ed asked rudely, "What kind of crap is this?"

"It's numerology," Hughes explained, undeterred. "Take someone's full name, put the number of each letter under it, and add it all up and you have a special number."

"...How do you KNOW these things?" Ed asked after a pause.

The intelligence officer started to answer, then shrugged, as if surprised at the answer. "I don't know. I think Alicia's friend's mother said something, and I remembered doing it when I was younger." That one little word 'Alicia' sent Hughes into a momentary trance, then he exclaimed, "Oh! And did I tell you about this one time, I was picking my darling little girl up from school and she asked me..."

Five minutes later it was all Edward could do not to transmute his arm into a blade and slice up the photos the man was currently showing him into little tiny pieces. To stop the impulse Ed rested his head on his hand, telling himself if he busted the blade out now, then he would kill himself. (And he still felt like it.)

"Anyway, we left the shop with twelve new rolls of film-and I used two for pictures of Alicia with her new doll!" Hughes sighed, smiling, and gathered up the photos. "Good times... good times." He whipped out a pen and began to write 'Elric' but stopped at the 'i', frowning thoughtfully. "It was a 'k', right?"

"A _'c',_" Ed growled through his teeth.

"Okay then!" Hughes scribbled furiously, mumbling things like, "Carry the one..." and finally stopped with a triumphant flourish. "Got it! Ed, your number is four!"

Ed's only reply was a sullen blink and a frown.

"It either means you're stable-"

"It's a name," the short alchemist told Hughes shortly. "It doesn't mean _anything_."

"But it's _fun,_" Hughes replied mildly. "Haven't you ever done something utterly pointless just because you liked it?"

_Alchemy_, was the first thing that popped into Ed's mind when he heard 'fun'. He frowned at his lack of a social life. "No, not really."

The drastically different duo observed each other, one too young to be so old and the second the other way around. Then Hughes shrugged. "Well, I'll tell you one thing-you're missing out on a lot." He folded the paper up and slipped the pen into his pocket. "See you, Ed."

Hughes stood up. Just as Ed began to relax the older officer exclaimed, "Oh, I almost forgot! Four also means you're very conflicted, and you're prone to angry outbursts."

Ed raised an eyebrow.

"Roy! Do you want to see something really cool!" Hughes burst into his office, making Roy start and nearly spill his ink.

"Hughes," the Colonel replied calmly after making sure his inkwell was secure, "I'm actually _resigned_ to doing my work for today."

"He's right," Hawkeye added with a slight smile, though whether it was from amusement or satisfaction it was unknown.

"So please leave me alone," Roy finished, busying himself with another signature.

"Come _ooon,_" Hughes said, extending the second word and grinning like an idiot. "You know you want to, Roy."

Roy frowned, faltered, then looked to Hawkeye and found steely threat lurking in her eyes. And then he looked to Hughes again, all cajoling and smiles. _Hmmm_, remarked part of his mind. Three feet of separation, yet it was like night and day in the same sky. After a moment, Roy set down his pen reluctantly and sighed.

"Well, a few minutes won't hurt..." Hey, fire gave off light and heat just like the sun.

Hawkeye sighed, but resumed her work diligently as Hughes clapped with glee. "Yay! Okay, see this?"

Roy studied the paper, a random tangle of letters, names, and numbers, and shrugged. "Algebra? I thought you'd graduated."

Hughes smacked him on the arm. "Not _math_, stupid! Numerology!"

"Numerology," Roy repeated scornfully. "The branch of divination pertaining to the full name of one specific person, along with two-bit psychology and first-grade addition. _That_ numerology?"

"Ooh, so you remember your number?"

Roy stared for a moment, then he shook his head. "No. I deal with science, not math. And that was a long time ago."

"Come on, Roy, tell me. I can't remember yours."

"One," he replied scathingly, both to shut Hughes up and because this sounded familiar.

"You're..." Hughes concentrated for a moment. "You're independant. A loner. But you have good leader skills."

Roy snickered derisively. "Tell me something I don't know, Hughes."

"But you LOVED this when we were kids! You were always-"

"I only did it because YOU were," Roy pointed out.

A grin widened on Hughes' face. "Oh? I remember you using it for Suzanne Landford because you wanted to know if your numbers were compatible-"

The Colonel choked, covering up the smallest sound from Hawkeye. "Hughes!"

"Oh, please, Roy!" Hughes clasped his hands together, pleading. "Do one name! Just one! Please?"

"Will you _leave_ if I do," Roy snapped, coming close to the end of his rope.

"Yes! Promise!"

After scanning the other man's face for the slightest sign of weakness, Roy sighed. "Fine. Where's that chart?" He took out a blank sheet of paper and scribbled a name at random, then did the customary process of figuring out the values of each letter and came up with four. "There. This person is either stable or..." Roy looked at the key and finished, "Extremely conflicted. All done now. You can leave."

"But you haven't done the vowels and consonants yet!"

"_What?_"

"The whole name is just how they appear in public! To get the real personality, you have to do the individual vowels and consonants! Don't you remember, Roy?"

Hawkeye was probably biting her lip just to stop herself from doing anything she'd regret (like shoot the pair of them), but there was a twinkle in her eye that made Roy doubt it. The Colonel scoffed and quickly added up the vowels and consonants.

"The vowels add up to two, consonants equal nine. Now can you _please_ go?"

"Two is stability or confliction, to a lesser scale than four, and nine is considered divine."

The word 'divine' pricked up Roy's ears. "Divine. And that means..."

"It's three threes: beginning-middle-end. Completion three times over. I personally think it means complexity, I mean... who wants three lives' worth crammed into one? Whose name did you do, Roy?"

Roy looked at the name, which had previously been mere letters and numbers-a task waiting to be done, like the rest of his work-and replied with some surprise, "Edward Elric."

"Hmm..." was the semi-thoughtful reply. "Suits him. Well, toodles Roy!" Hughes saluted and left as boisterously as he'd come.


	4. Part II, Ch 2

Name Games

**Disclaimer/Notes:** I don't own Hagane no Renkinjutsushi/Fullmetal Alchemist.

Ooh, I'm on a roll! Second chapter, baby! So go on and read my stroke of genius. No plans on third chapter unless inspiration strikes _hard_. Like, 'banging your not-funny bone on something and screaming with pain' hard.

"...And she was _sooo_ hyper after she ate all that candy, but I just couldn't find it in my heart to stop her!" Hughes turned from the unfortunate major he was bombarding with pictures and stories and saw Edward, standing there nervously like a self-conscious kid about to ask a stupid question. "Yes, Ed?"

Ed shifted uncomfortably before asking hesitantly, "Is 'y' a vowel... or a consonant?"

"It can be both, but assume it's a consonant," was the reply as several people looked up at them. "Why?"

"Do..." Ed struggled a moment before continuing, "Do the individual vowels and consonants... mean anything?"

"Oh, it's about numerology, isn't it?" Before the boy could reply, Hughes went on, "Well, the vowels describe how you are at heart, the consonants describe how you think, and the full name is how the world sees you. The head, heart, and social numbers, get it?"

"Oh, okay... bye Hughes." The boy made a move to dash out of the mess hall but was stopped.

"Wait wait, stay a moment!" Hughes sat Edward down on the corner of the bench next to the major he'd been tormenting, propping up his elbows and resting his head on his hands. "Whose name are you doing?"

"No one's!" Ed protested violently. "I... I just wasn't sure how to classify 'y'!"

"Ah." And Hughes nodded, satisfied with the answer. "Well, it _is_ a tricky letter. Bye, Ed."

Ed gratefully slinked off to his dorm. Hughes watched him for a moment, then shook his head and sighed. "Poor boy," he remarked with all the distant concern of an uncle. "Roy said the same thing when he analyzed the name of his very first crush."

"What was her name?" the major asked, the barrage of photos and pointless anecdotes forgotten.

"Crystal O'Shay."

"Taisa, are you finished?" came Hawkeye's polite but firm request at the end of the day.

Roy looked up from what he was doing and nodded hurriedly, clearing his throat. "Yes. Just about, Hawkeye." He shuffled the various papers on his desk into a somewhat neat pile and began to put a few in the drawer, stopping when he noticed Hawkeye look at him curiously. "Yes, Lieutenant?"

"I was just wondering, taisa... why Edward-kun?"

This was as outgoing as Roy had ever seen Hawkeye. "Fullmetal is..." Complicated? Interesting? He couldn't think of anything witty, so he shrugged. "It was a random choice."

"Hmm." The First Lieutenant's eyes dropped briefly in thought, then came up again with a flicker of amusement. "Perhaps your subconscious was trying to tell you something."

Roy raised an eyebrow. He was _sure_ that was a direct reference to what he'd said about two-bit psychology earlier. And was Hawkeye _smirking_, or was that just the distance between their desks talking?

"You may leave, Hawkeye," was the clipped retort. Instantly Hawkeye was back to her usual self, dipping her head in a nod as she stood up.

"Yes, taisa."

As the door snapped shut, Roy glanced down at the lone sheet of paper with the single name on it. He'd been calling Fullmetal... well, Fullmetal for so long he was surprised he remembered the boy's real name. Another moment passed before Roy scoffed, crumpled the paper up into a ball, and tossed it into his wastebasket. He didn't need one of Hughes' games to tell him things he already knew about Fullmetal.

Little did he know that a certain blonde alchemist was doing the same thing in his dorm.

Just replace 'same thing' with 'ripping it up into little pieces and stomping them into the bottom of the trash can' and that was about right.


	5. Part III, Ch 1

Part Three: Wordplay

Notes/Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist. I do own my wonderful wordplay, though.

Sorry it took so long! First I moved, then I had a talent show to do, but now it's all better. No Eddo in this chapter, unfortunatelyjust Roy, Maes of course, and the next-to-invisible Hawkeye. This is the last one, I swear. Because three is a nice number.

Ed.

The first thing Maes Hughes thought when he heard the name 'Ed' was 'red' for the coat, of course.

Red.

The next thing that came to mind was 'scared', because that was how one felt when Ed was in a rage. Maes drummed his fingers on a table, trying to think up more and failing. So, logically... he went to Roy.

"Oh, Roy!"

"What. Now." Roy said through gritted teeth, hoping his friend would notice. "This is the third time in a row you've come for one of your stupid games, so make it fast before I order Hawkeye to"

"Don't worry, it's simple wordplay."

This broke Roy's fury slightly and he tilted his head quizzically. "But Hughes, I thought that was yesterday."

"No, that was numerology," Hughes corrected him. "With this you just put more letters in and rearrange them."

"Let me guess. You're here because you want to know what I think about Ed."

"Or Al," Hughes added. "Both of them are easy names, but I can't seem to do anything other than 'red', or 'scared'."

Silence filled the room for a moment as Roy thought, then rolled his eyes and said, "Scarred."

"Scarred?" Hughes repeated.

"We all know what that means," Roy replied quietly.

"Hmm..." Maes looked up, contemplating this, then remarked, "You know Roy, I think you're starting to take this seriously for once. Congratulations."

"Oh, thank _goodness_," Roy drawled. "For a second there, I thought I was incapable of human feeling."

"For that, I'm going to give you a present!"

"What?" There was nothing in Hughes' hands. Hawkeye even looked up from her paperwork.

"I..." Hughes hummed a suspenseful tune, then exclaimed brightly, "Am going to leave YOU, Roy Mustang my best buddy in the whole world, completely alone, in private, so you can think about wordplay! For today!" he added. "And since it's almost the end of today, you only have a few minutes to bemoan your sorry life without me!" With that, the officer bounced out of the room.

And he _didn't come back_.

Roy raised an eyebrow, then smirked and called, "Thank you for the gift, Hughes!"

"I'll pretend I wasn't here to hear that!" came the muffled reply.

Roy sighed with relief as he heard the sound of footsteps moving away and turned to sign the paper one last time. When he finished, he stopped to think for a moment. If he took off the 'red' in scarred, he got 'Scar'. The enemy assassin out to get both Roy and Fullmetal.

Hawkeye noticed Roy's eyes go from simply dull with boredom to dark with dark thoughts. However, she said nothing and watched him out of the corner of her eye.

_The enemy of my enemy,_ Roy thought slowly, _is my friend._ Granted, he wasn't friends with Edward, but still...

The letters shifted in his head, from 'scarred' to 'scared' to... 'sacred'.

Sacred was another word for divine. Both described the bond between Fullmetal and his brother. A bond of blood and soul, forged from death and hammered by death but never quite broken.

And at the end of 'sacred' was red. Red for the coat, which was probably what Hughes was thinking of.

It was also red for blood. Roy had certainly seen enough blood, even from the younger alchemist. That didn't surprise him.

What surprised him was that he wished he hadn't seen so much of Edward's blood.

"Taisa."

Roy's head lifted. "Yes, Hawkeye?"

"Are you finished with those papers?"

He looked from the small pile of paperwork to the door and replied softy, "...Yes."

Fin

Yay! A bit sparse, I'll admit, but it gets the point acrossRoy doesn't want to see Ed injured! How's that for human feeling, Roy old boyo?


End file.
